The question of Geeks and Glasses and why they go hand in hand has been around for many a years. This is a conundrum that fascinates me to the utmost extent. The question remains. Why do so many Geeks choose glasses over contact lenses? Here are a few reasons I can create as to why this phenomenon takes place.
1. Glasses give the appearance of knowledge.
In society, we view people whom wear glasses as wise or intelligent human beings. Being a geek, intelligence is at the utmost importance. So when being faced with the decision of glasses or contacts, geeks tend to choose the previous. After all, an imbecile would never be able to become a General Grade 4 on Halo 3…..
2. Glasses can be easily removed.
Being a geek is a hard job. A 24/7 job to be exact. Long nights awake at the computer or Xbox 360 require a geek to be able to sleep at a moments notice. Contact lenses take a lifetime to take out and glasses can just be easily removed. It’s just a convenient solution to a small problem.
3. Geeks do not worry about style or looking “cool”.
Fashion is not the most important thing on a geeks mind. You USUALLY don’t see a geek walking out of Abercrombie and Fitch with $700 in clothing in the hands. Productivity is #1 and if something works, then there is no need to change it. Therefore, geeks prefer to stick with the classic glasses look.
4. Glasses are cheaper than contact lenses.
Economically smart. That explains most geeks out there. Why pay $300 for contact lenses a year when you can pay $100 for a pair of glasses that will last you 2 years? In a geeks mind, this saves you $500, in which you could build a brand spanking new computer rig, or buy an xbox 360 AND a Wii, or get that iPhone you have craved OH so much.
5. Glasses are a trademark of geeks.
Geeks have a community just like any other group of people on earth. In the “Geek Community”, glasses are looked at as a “cool” accessory. It’s something that sets you apart from the crowd, kinda to say “HEY, I’M A GEEK!”. Now I am not saying EVERY person that wears glasses is a geek, but the majority..are. Glasses are to geeks as Suits are to CEO’s.
Glasses have been a staple in the geek lifestyle and it will stay that way for the foreseeable future. So for all you glassesless geeks out there, run out to your local walmart and pick up a $10 pair of glasses to add that little bit of geeky style to your life.
Peace, Love, and CMOS,
Zane Savage
Oh God! Zane is going to talk about his passionate hatred for internet trolls! Well, not necessarily. This little column or “blog” as some people chronicle it, is about what goes on in the mind of a mentally insuperior individual using this tool we call the internet.
As many of you know, my intelligence is that of a Nuclear physicist on crack. But I often wonder what a person is actually thinking as they type the words, “Your a fat ass nugget that likes doughnuts”. Correction, “YOUR A FAT ASS NUGGET THAT LIKES DOUGHNUTS”. I have made a list of possible thoughts going through the head of this “internet user”.
1. *God damn, I am getting kinda fat. My ass itches. I found the golden nugget on level 43! I could really go for a doughnut right now….wait who is this Zane Savage guy….(insert verbal diarrhea here).
2. *I was picked on soooo bad in high school….holy cow, you mean I can pick on people of higher power with an anonymous identity and no consequences? COUNT ME IN!*
3. *God I wish I hadn’t stick that enormous dildo in my pooper…..”
4. *Wow, I’m really jealous of this amazing model of a man named Zane Savage. I will never be as monumental, intelligent, or most of all beautiful as him. I’m gonna try to bring him down a notch”
These are just a few of my guesses of what goes on in those empty things they call heads. The irony of it all is I kind of enjoy morons as long as I am in the right mood. To see someone cower in their own pool of piss because it was pointed out the painful obvious personal circumstance the imbecile is in, is just relaxing in and of itself. So before you go out and call your favorite internet celeb a “Fag eating shit bag”, just remember, God hates you :)
Zane